I have been dreaming about death lately. I know we should never take our dreams literally so I looked it up. I had thought that it meant someone is pregnant and I'm sure many people would be thrilled if that were true. But it's NOT. Besides, that's not what death dreams mean. There were a lot of complicated definitions, and it does depend on the specifics of the dream. One thing that caught my attention though, was that it could mean you need a change in your life. I thought that was strange since I have had lots of changes in my life recently. I consider myself pretty happy actually.
So maybe it doesn't mean a big change in my life. Maybe it means small changes. I know I spend way too much of my time stressing out over work. I take my work home with me and that affects my mood. I'm not really sure why I care so much about my work. Of course I have to care, but sometimes I feel like I care more about the future of the paper than anyone else does. I spend so much time focusing on little details and worrying about things most people will never notice. I think it's just in my nature. I can't leave things undone. I can't make silly mistakes. I like feeling proud about what I have done, even if no one else notices. I kind of wish everyone else could change so I don't have to but that's not very realistic.
I guess I could try and change how much stress is causes me though. I could try to leave it at my desk and enjoy my time off. I really want to have more fun in my life. I don't mean partying and drinking. I mean good times with good people, less time laying around and more time outside. I used to do so much more with my free time than I do now. I went swimming, I took the dog for walks. Now I just let her out the front door to run around the yard alone. I really miss laughing. I don't laugh enough. That's something I can try to change. I miss laughing so much it hurts.
I will never know why I have been having these dreams, but I know that they got me thinking.
Posted at 12:32 am by
Jenn
